July 1, 2009
Columbia, South Carolina 29211
Dear Governor Sanford,
I read with alarm your wife’s statement : “Gay marriage wrecked my marriage” and I would like to apologize to you and Jenny for breaking up your marriage.
You see, I and my same-sex partner innocently enough got married last October. We thought we were just experiencing marital bliss and enjoying some, but not all the benefits and all of the responsibilities that married couples enjoy. We had no idea we were actually destroying your marriage! We are so sorry.
We feel especially sorry for the kids and want you to know that we don’t have any children and don’t plan on having any or adopting any. I’m sure if we did we would hear of other prominent upstanding couples breaking up over it.
We’re not quite sure what we did to break up your marriage. Perhaps it was the thought of hot man on man sex that drove you to seek release outside of your marriage.
Perhaps it was that we try to be role models by being able to cook, sew, keep house, raise children (or sometimes beloved pets), enjoy musical theatre, fashion, interior decorating and all with great panache. In our drive to be role models, have we inadvertantly set the bar too high for straight couples. I bet Jenny often complained that you’re not as good as the gay couple up the street.
We also enjoy strolls on the beach and long walks up the Appalachian Trail.
Best of all , we can have a boy’s night out and take our spouse along. I’m sure that that put a damper on your marriage. I’m so so sorry.
Steve and Gary Zink-Young